In this article, you’ll get to understand why self-care is important to be prioritized. The article includes:
- Moment of Revelation
- Why Self Care is Mother’s Right
- When Self Care became My Right & Duty too
- Self Care – Why and How?
In this journey of motherhood, I don’t know when did I lose myself? It was such a gradual process. My daughter won’t let me take a nap and either kept poking my eyes or digging my ears.
I had forgotten how drinking a full glass of water feels because always she would either spill some or wanted to drink from my glass.
Set aside drinking water, she won’t even let me poop in peace and kept hovering around in the bathroom. I don’t remember relishing my share of brownie (Chocolate brownie is my favourite !! 😛).
Moment of Revelation
But I do remember that one day my daughter was uncontrollable and my husband was hiding behind his laptop when I blasted and yelled at her “ Stop it Priaana, Please!! mummy bhi insaan hai (Mommy is a person too) .” SILENCE……..I looked at their confused faces.
Wowww!!! This is new information !!! and it then dawned upon me that this information is new – not just to them but to me as well. Bammmm !! **Moment of Revelation.**
I need to do something about this situation.
Why Self Care is very Mother’s Right?
Without a doubt, young children would love to have their mothers with them 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Being constantly present and available to your children, however, is draining on any woman, and isn’t always the best thing for the child, either.
Mothers, whether they work or not, need time for themselves to re-energize so they can be the best they can for their children.
It’s tough to be a role model for happiness if you’re too exhausted to be happy yourself. You deserve to be happy. It is your right.
When Self Care became My Right and My DUTY too!!!
That very day I enrolled in a yoga class, every Wednesday morning. My husband barely opened his eyes before 8 pm, but, determined, I informed him that he needed to be up earlier on yoga mornings because I was not missing my class. He had no choice.
Because I had incorporated “ME” in my life.
In the journey of exercising this right, I realised Happiness and self-love is not your right. It indeed is your duty.
Making conscious efforts to take care of my happiness eventually led me to be a happy mother and a happy wife. Isn’t that what we all mothers strive for.
Lend me all ears (I mean eyes) all, you busy moms. It’s time to put self-care on your to-do list!
Self Care – Why and How?
1. It’s not selfish at all!!
Mothers have always been regarded as the epitome of selflessness. The word “MAA” itself sometimes seems so heavy to me.
It’s full of emotion and full of responsibility. “Ab main Ek maa hun” ( Now I am a mother). Doesn’t it sound so big and weighs you down whenever you think of yourself.
Every time I took a time out for myself, this line would burden me down with guilt and fill me with the feeling of being selfish.
But that one moment made me think hey!! it is not selfish, it’s just basic self-respect. If I can’t respect my needs, How can I expect my husband, family or kids to do it?
- How can such a fundamental principle be selfish?
- You must find a way to make self care a priority
- The world can wait while you take a little break to go for a walk, read a book, pursue a hobby you enjoy, do some yoga, prep healthy meals, or even take a fantastic nap.
2. When the Going Gets Tough – Take support
- As a parent, you are always doing something. The whirlwind of worry, cooking, feeding, diaper changing, snotty nose-wiping, cleaning, scheduling, shopping, working, and sleepless nights leaves you feeling frazzled and drained. There’s so much to do on your shoulders.
- Yet, strangely enough, you want to do it all. Even if your husband offers support, you often say, “It’s ok, I’ll do it !!” Ain’t I, right? We feel so thankful and honored if the husband helps you even if it’s the slightest and smallest of things.
- But why ?? Why do we feel so grateful? Why do you feel shy to ask for help? You have to accept that it’s a collective journey for the entire family to embark upon.
- Involve your husband and family.
- Learn to be assertive in asking for help. Take support my dear mommies.
- It’s not just about spreading joys. It’s also about spreading responsibilities. TAKE SUPPORT!! ASK FOR HELP!!
Believe me, now that I have involved my husband in some everyday tasks, we feel more connected as a family. We feel more closely knit.
We laugh, read books, dance in the kitchen and listen to the things my daughter wants to tell us and let her teach us to play again. As much as it takes my energy, in their company, I feel replenished.
3. Stop Unrealistic Expectations
- We mothers have a tendency to think of ourselves as capable of doing everything. And in the process of doing so, we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves which really burden us and cause anxiety.
- If you want to give some time to your needs, you must first let go of these stupid notions and expectations. You have to give yourself the grace to stop expecting things of yourself that you don’t have the bandwidth to give in this phase of life.
- Be realistic and just do what you are capable of doing. Include yourself in the list of things to do. If you can tend to the infinite needs of family or society, you can definitely dig some time for yourself. You just have to be resolute about it.
- Letting go of silly -impractical expectations will help you spare some room for yourself.
4. Kick – Start Yourself (I Mean It Literally!!!)
- I know what it’s like. You’re tired—right to your bones. You’re fuzzy about the pile of paperwork that’s mounting on the corner of the kitchen table, the grocery shopping’s pending, laundry needs to be done but your child is taking a nap so you think of dozing off too. It’s not a voluntary or deliberate act. It just happens. You just fall asleep.
- Sometimes I sleep before my daughter. LOL. It’s a reflex of the body.
- Sleeping feels so good…but only at that moment. I regret sleeping after I get up and wish I had done something. Not household work but doing something for myself.
- I wish I had mustered up the energy to put a face pack or exercised or soaked my feet in warm water. It could be anything except sleep.
- I wish somebody had kicked me out of sleep. But Wait !!! Who’s gonna do that? No one. You yourself have to kick start yourself. Kick yourself to do anything … anything for your mind, body, soul or definitely for the belly fat. LOL.
- I feel, one of the single most important ways to implement self-care is to “exercise”. I know, I know, you’ve heard this one a million times. “But I don’t have the energy or time, it’s hard, it’s boring,” you might say.
- But it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. You don’t have to spend hours a day or buy expensive equipment or join a class or kill yourself boot camp-style or go to the gym. It’s just about doing something. How so ever simple. How so ever short.
- Just get your body moving. Find something that you actually enjoy. Walk, dance, or follow a simple at-home workout plan in your living room.
- You’ll find it rejuvenating and will be surprised at all the wonderful things it will do in your life, like boost energy and immunity, improve your sleep, and even help you think more clearly.
- Most importantly, catering to your body makes you feel good about yourself as it increases endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline and endocannabinoid — these are all brain chemicals associated with feeling happy, confident, capable and prone to less anxiety.
- Not to mention you’ll be setting a great example for your kids to follow! So get you a** up and start rolling.
Despite all these mantras and fundas, I still have times when I get caught up in the frenzy of motherhood and put my needs on the back burner for weeks, or even months, at a time.
But then I remember my life-changing moment of revelation and I get back on track. Bring these small changes in your daily routine and to re-shape your life.
As for the brownie, I won’t let my kids eat mine if they’ve already had their own. Call me selfish, but hey, Mom loves brownie. And Mom is a person too.
Good Luck and Cheers! Write to me and share your story at share@motherspoint.com
